hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
