It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
