unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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