am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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