He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
