you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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