Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
