You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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