I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
