he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
