You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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