I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
