it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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