I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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