i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
