there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
