Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
