Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
