i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
