Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
as a side note pls kill me
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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