Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
