i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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