Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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