I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
