You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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