I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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