hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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