OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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