She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
