I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
