the condom got lost in my hair
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
