i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
