yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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