My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
