Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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