but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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