then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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