i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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