addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
