I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize