I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
