i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
