I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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