Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
