youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
