After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
