Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
