And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
