Barsexuality is the new black.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
