Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize