If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
