I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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