dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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