Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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