Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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