and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
