you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
