so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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