You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
