And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
then he tried to convert me to islam
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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