there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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