the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Randomize
