It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
