we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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